Of Cocktail Weddings and Feast...

It is said that the people, their culture, food and attire reflects their linguistic identity in India. Can’t say for other states or cities, but Mumbai where I have spent each and every breath of mine (except for the momentary days of travelling for vacation) doesn’t follow the rule here.  Especially, when it comes to marriage ceremonies.

                I recollect attending weddings in my childhood where I used to prepare my taste buds for the traditional delicious food awaiting me at the wedding feast.  If it was a Maharashtrian wedding, you would expect the sit down lunch fare served in steel thalis with vatis (bowls) and spoons where the servers served the dry batata bhaaji and 2 more varieties of sabzis (depending on the season), achar, papad, fried savouries like onion/batata bhajis, jalebis.  Shrikhand and puris were a must in Bhramin weddings. Then there was the hot steamed rice with aromatic lentil dal but not before a spoon of ghee is poured over the rice.  You enter a Punjabi wedding and come out loading extra calories from the paneer kadai, chole, bhaturas, jeera rice and dal makhnis.  I remember Sindhis were the only community at that time apart from Muslim community who had non-vegetarian food in their wedding feast. And we South Indian Madrasis……hmm……we had our banana leaf spread out with avials, poriyals, pachidi, appalams and rice with sambhar, rasam and vatta kulambu (tamarind curry) finishing it off with jaggery payasam / pal payasam.

                Somewhere after liberalization which opened the gates for entry of multi national corporations and influx of job seekers from around the country into Mumbai, the varied ethnic communities were thrown together like the fruits in a cocktail drink and the result – the best of the ethnic communities emerged and took over the buffet counters in the weddings. The food menu in a wedding buffet silently, through trial and error modified the wedding feast to come up with a standardized menu which satisfied the taste buds of the multi ethnic working class wedding attendees. So, we had the northern Indian dishes like kababs and tikkas, paneer makhanwala, Veg Kolhapuri and shrikhand from Maharashtra, the side dishes like dosas and uttapas from south, going cross borders as far as Italy to include pastas, Chinese and continental dishes.

The desserts wore the patriotic feel of the India pridely showcasing the sweet tooth of the nation with Rosgullas from Bengal, Gulab Jamuns, Rabdi, Basundi from North and without any ethnic identity dishes ice creams and fruit salads.  New additions included Chinese counters, South Indian counters and Continental counters at the lavish wedding feast to cater to the taste buds of the new cosmopolitan population.  Some South Indian weddings still carry on the tradition of the banana leaf feast with odd inclusion of puris and Veg kurmas for the non-south Indian wedding attendees which in my personal opinion, ruins the whole flavor of the tradition south Indian feast.  Its looks like fusion of carnatic music with bhangra beats – neither here nor there, totally out of place.

                If food made a dramatic changeover through these decades, the wedding costumes too went through fashion mela changing the face of wedding albums. But here, the North Indian and Western look took over completely.  While earlier we had the groom’s Dark suits and bride’s Sarees or the traditional wedding attire which dominated the reception stage, we now see a variety of options dominated mostly by the North Indian attire – Sherwanis, Bandgalas, Lehengas, Chaniya Cholis and so on.  Not only the bride and groom, also the immediate families go all the way giving competition to the bride and groom in the costumes department to the extent that sometimes it’s hard to differentiate the bride, if she happens to move away from the stage into the crowds.

                Even the rituals have crossed over the cultures, for example, the sangeet ceremony – the traditional pre-wedding music and dance fest – a tradition prevalent in the North has been squeezed into the South Indian Wedding ceremonies, though just an initial beginning. I guess the orthodox south Indian community is still trying to cope with the unabashed forcible entry of this event in their marriage venue.

                Also, with the high disposable incomes with the Gen X, the albums, the venue ambience, the props have gone from decent to grand look giving the bride and the groom, the dream wedding they used to watch in the movies in their childhood. Even the wedding invite mail comes with a link to a website giving a brief introduction to the bride and groom and their families with detailed wedding schedules.  

                If there is one part of the Wedding ceremony which has remained the same and has held its ground in the face of the changing environment, it’s the ritual of tying the sacred wedding knot.  We still have our Pandits to preside over the tying of the nuptial knot, the Father in the church to make you take your wedding vows and the maulvis to finalise the wedding agreement.  I guess, we are too god fearing to mess with these rituals, your married life is at stake here. Some may point to the registered marriages in court to prove this wrong, however, I know for sure, for every registered marriage, there is a family pooja (satyanarayana) or whatever which helps to redeem the by-passed rituals.

In the end, what matters is, to understand that marriage is a celebration – of new beginnings and family occasion to mingle and re-connect. It doesn’t matter if it’s celebrated in a multi-ethnic culture, the idea is to have fun, frolic and rejoice in the union of two souls who carry the family torch into the future. So go on…….. gorge on the wedding feast and dance your way to the latest bollywood beats……………